It’s been said that the only things certain in life are death and taxes but there is definitely a third – change. The topic of change has been coming up a lot among my circle of friends and family and for many, change and the resistance to change can be one of the toughest life challenges. The truth is, we are never in control in life and often just when we think we have it all together or are way off our path, we need life to shake us up to remind us of this fact. In general, people have a tendency to hold on for dear life instead of letting go of things or people that aren’t serving us well. But there is so much power in letting go. Once we let go, we create a space for the next great thing to move in. Life constantly gives us gifts, invitations, and signs to guide us on our paths. We must TRUST that these are always present for us, and available when we listen and look. It is very easy for us to accept “good” gifts, like the welcome of a new job or relationship. It is of course, often harder to see the positive in situations that don’t seem good at the time and sometimes down right painful and scary. However, in the long run, surrendering to the change and trusting that there is a gift in the struggle will help us grow and teach us important lessons.
Truly, the only thing we can count on in life is change. Much of this centers around relationships, health, and careers as they are central factors in our overall happiness. Change doesn’t necessarily mean leaving a relationship or job, or bowing down to subpar health standards as we age. It can simply mean a change in your attitude or your perspective and then modifying your approach to the situation. This can be just as effective in creating happiness. Keeping in mind that your life will probably never look like it does in the movies and your experiences and what creates happiness for you, won’t look like it did for your mom, dad, friends, or your neighbors. It’s how you as an individual face it and learn from it that makes all the difference.
Relationships, whether dealing with family members and friends, or going through a break-up or divorce, can teach us a lot about ourselves. These close relationships are mirrors to us and show us what we still need to work on and deal with inside ourselves. This gets tough but it’s important to turn toward your mirror and address the issues by taking responsibility for yourself rather than running away. By turning away from a problem, we are most likely going toward the same issue with someone else. Personally I feel that my own divorce was a gift that was given to me. Although it was the most emotionally painful time in my life, I needed to go through that change in order to welcome in the next phase in my personal journey. Being free of my marriage opened me up to so many opportunities to learn about myself that wouldn’t have happened if I stayed in a relationship that wasn’t helping me or my former husband grow.
Jobs are attached to money, which is attached to our basic survival. Yes, this can be very stressful and we spend a lot of time at our jobs so when this changes, it can be scary. Recently, a friend of mine had been toying with the idea of changing her spa location and/or creating more services to expand her practice. Suddenly, without warning her rent went up 50%. She panicked at first, but as we talked and reflected on the situation she could see the “gift” life was giving her. The rent raise is forcing her to face her discontent at this current location and open up to doing something much bigger and better. Her skills and creativity had outgrown her current situation and instead of her fear settling in and getting the best of her; life just moved it all along on her behalf. Marianne Williamson, author of “A Course in Miracles” and many other brilliant books, states, “It is not our darkness we are afraid of, it is our light.” And yes - this is so true! By staying in the same old spa, cubicle, hospital, etc., we don’t have to face our fear of failure. We all have a life purpose and gifts we must share with the world, and when we aren’t doing it, then we get these little nudges or loud awakenings that make us course correct. Our true job is to simply turn toward our personal light and shine our biggest brightest self!
It can be unnerving to leave and/or make adjustments in a relationship or job, but change is inevitable in life and can actually bring us so much happiness and growth, so why not accept and embrace it? What we resist persists and fighting it won’t make anything easier! If we never change…well then nothing will change.